Dahlia Black Read online

  Just look at the DMV.

  I’m not a conspiracy theorist but I still think that if I’d sent the Pulse Code through the proper channels, there’s a very good chance it would be lost. Or unrecognized. Do you know how many undiscovered species of animals are sitting in museums right now? Seriously, this is nuts: every year an enterprising young zoologist runs the DNA on a stuffed crocodile or jaguar sitting on a dusty shelf for the past 150 years and realizes it’s a new species.

  Conspiracy?

  No, just an oversight, a technical blunder, a jealous curator, a mislabeled sample, a janitorial error, a filing mistake, or the most logical answer of all: it was just another crocodile or jaguar when it was killed, didn’t look any different than any of the other millions everyone has seen before, and it was put on a shelf because no one cared. And probably no one cares still.

  The Pulse Code could just as easily wind up lost in a digital archive on a forgotten hard drive. One mistake, one oversight, one jealous colleague, one miscalculation, and the Pulse could be forgotten. I’m not going to take a chance of that happening. Not knowing what I know about it. Not feeling what I feel.

  So my afternoon was spent poring over the details again.

  And just like every time I look at the Pulse, I got more and more excited. I missed my lecture start time, showed up late, and delivered a dull presentation on gravitational waves. One of my students actually commented on how tired I looked.

  After class, I left a message for Jon.

  I need to know what he’s heard.

  Jon, I know you check your email every two minutes!

  I just . . . I need to know that I’ve done the right thing. That the people he gave the Pulse Code to are taking it seriously and they’re going to freak out as much as I am. I need to know that I’m not crazy and that I didn’t break protocol just because I’m convinced the world is going to change.

  —-

  Tonight the headache came back, worse than before.

  Like really, really bad.

  I took another two Vicodin but they barely helped. The aural part of the headache was the same. The lights in the room pulsated. Each bulb was like a strobe: the light rippled out and waxed and waned with a clear rhythm. I couldn’t help but study it even as my head throbbed, my ears threatening to explode. The space between the light waves was uniform. Which seemed weirdly impossible.

  I sat in my kitchen, trying to keep my eyes open, watching as the waves spread out across the room, wall to wall. They actually went through the walls.

  And each wave that hit me, I could feel it.

  Each wave of light that hit me pushed me backwards. Not hard; lightly, as though the light waves . . . this, of course, is impossible, but it was like they were moving through a liquid. Not air. I chalked it up to the migraine distorting my sense of perception.

  The headache stopped ten minutes ago.

  The pain just ebbed away, uncurling its needle fingers from my brain and retreating back to the nape of my neck before it sunk under the surface again. I know the pain will return. No amount of Vicodin will shake it loose. Surely it’s stress. The Pulse discovery and my lack of sleep, the excitement of digging into the information—it’s overwhelmed me.

  After the headache retreated, I took another shower.

  I was scared to.

  —-

  The headache is gone but my brain . . .

  I can tell it’s not the same as it was a day ago.

  Something has been altered. Imperceptible, maybe.

  The thing is I can still see the light waves.

  * * *

  I. Dr. Conrad Naha, an astrophysicist at the California Institute of Technology. An expert on binary stars, he went missing during the Colorado EMP attack.

  II. Dr. Sunjin Ishikawa, an astronomer with Pennsylvania State University. She died of a ruptured aorta in the early stages of the Elevation.

  14

  EDITED TRANSCRIPT FROM THE FIRST UNOFFICIAL DISCLOSURE TASK FORCE MEETING

  PRESENT: NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR KANISHA PRESTON, DR. XAVIER FABER, DR. NEIL ROBERTS, DR. SOLEDAD VENEGAS, AND DR. SERGEI MIKOYAN

  RECORDED IN WHITE HOUSE ON 10.30.2023

  Though they were brought in for their expert opinion on the Pulse, the experts assembled at the White House to meet with Kanisha Preston were to become the members of the Disclosure Task Force, the group charged with writing the message President Ballard would communicate to the world about first contact.

  In addition to Dr. Xavier Faber, the Task Force’s experts consisted of:

  Dr. Neil Roberts—An exobiologist with NASA, Dr. Neil Roberts (forty at the time) had a long-running dispute with Dr. Xavier Faber about alien-human communication. Unsurprisingly, they came from different sides of how to interpret the Pulse Code. Where Roberts saw a hopeful future in communication with an alien intelligence, Xavier saw the potential for Earth to be attacked by a more technologically advanced species. Given his disposition, Dr. Neil Roberts soon became the Task Force’s cheerleader.

  Dr. Sergei Mikoyan—A leading authority on computational linguistics, Dr. Sergei Mikoyan (fifty-six at the time) was brought to the Task Force from his post as a computer language lecturer at King’s College, London. More a philosopher than a scientist, Dr. Sergei Mikoyan was the team’s empathetic core: he believed the Pulse represented a bridge between two cultures, an opportunity for humanity to reach its highest potential.

  Dr. Soledad Venegas—Dr. Soledad Venegas (thirty-two at the time) was a Yale-based particle physicist and fell in the middle of Dr. Mikoyan and Dr. Neil Roberts in her approach to the Pulse. She was neither the dreamer Dr. Sergei Mikoyan was nor the idealist Dr. Neil Roberts was; in her mind, the origins of the Pulse were not nearly as important as the mind-boggling science behind its creation.

  KANISHA PRESTON: Okay. Update time. Seems Dr. Cisco had an accident. Car accident on the way home while she was out. Drugs in her system, maybe stress. Went off the road and was dead by the time she got to the hospital.

  DR. NEIL ROBERTS: Jesus. She had a family . . .

  KANISHA PRESTON: We’re on lockdown now. No one leaves the building. From now on we sleep, eat—everything—under watch. Can’t risk anyone else getting hurt.

  DR. XAVIER FABER: Or anyone else potentially leaking any of this.

  KANISHA PRESTON: I think we all take offense to that suggestion, Dr. Faber. This was a tragic accident and the timing is unsettling, but it happens. There are no tea leaves to read here. We need to continue on and hopefully we can find someone with Dr. Cisco’s expertise. In the meantime, Dr. Mikoyan, you were going to be giving us an update?

  DR. SERGEI MIKOYAN: We think the Ascendant have—

  KANISHA PRESTON: The what?

  DR. SERGEI MIKOYAN: Sorry, that’s in the notes we sent late last night. I assume you haven’t gotten to those yet. That’s okay. We weren’t comfortable calling the originators of the Pulse “them” or “the others.” It seemed a bit silly and it got confusing quickly. So we had to give them a name. Dr. Xavier Faber calls them the Ascendant and that kind of stuck for now. We don’t have to use it officially.

  DR. XAVIER FABER: It’s a good name. It’s sexy.

  KANISHA PRESTON: What’re you inferring with the name?

  DR. XAVIER FABER: Pretty obvious, really.

  KANISHA PRESTON: Humor me.

  DR. XAVIER FABER: Well, we already know that the intelligence that created the Pulse is far more advanced than we are. Studying the code, we also now know that they’re somewhat like us. I don’t mean we’ve learned anything about what they look like or what sorts of space cars they drive. We don’t have the faintest idea and the Pulse doesn’t contain any of that information. What we do know, however, is that they get how we think. They know how our minds operate. This Pulse Code, the data embedded in it the way it was written, is singled out for us. This wasn’t some blast to the whole galaxy. We were meant to see it. And so, thinking about what to call this intelligence, I figured “the Asc
endant” sounded about right. They’re like us but to the nth degree.

  DR. NEIL ROBERTS: And he’s not speaking for all of us. Just so you know that.

  KANISHA PRESTON: I’m sure he’s not. Dr. Faber, you just told me that you are certain, or seem certain, that this pulse was written for and directed at us. Why? How can you be sure it wasn’t just some shout-out into the stars?

  DR. XAVIER FABER: The way it’s written. I know you’re going to be disappointed to hear that we don’t actually know what the code does yet—

  KANISHA PRESTON: I am.

  DR. SOLEDAD VENEGAS: We don’t know a lot of things about the code still. The truth is it might not do anything, but we can save that discussion for—

  DR. XAVIER FABER: It does something. Of course it does something. You see what I have to deal with in here? Listen, it’s quite simple. Our minds function logically. Mathematics and physics, all of it is linked to concepts of how the universe functions. The way we determine that is via patterns. That’s what our brains evolved to search for. Patterns. But our patterns, the ones we understand and look for, might not be the same patterns other minds seek out. You got me?

  DR. SERGEI MIKOYAN: What Dr. Faber is saying is that our concept of reality is built upon certain undeniable facts—time, space, motion, gravity, et cetera—and all these truths are founded upon patterns. Patterns that are distinct to us as a species.

  DR. XAVIER FABER: So this Pulse Code was written by the Ascendant to tap directly into our pattern-finding brains. It wasn’t designed to affect dogs or whales. I said it was a Trojan horse first time we met. First time we talked about this. I still think that’s the case here. And that means that it could contain one of two things: either it’s a weapon designed to eliminate us, like specially formulated weed killer, or it’s a gift, maybe plans to build a cold-fusion reactor or the perfect toaster that gets bagels just the right shade of rusty brown.

  KANISHA PRESTON: And which do you think it is?

  DR. XAVIER FABER: I’m sure you can guess.

  KANISHA PRESTON: Dr. Mikoyan?

  DR. SERGEI MIKOYAN: I think it is likely a gift. The way that I see it, this pulse was beamed to us from very far away. It was not packaged in anything harmful, as far as we can determine. It has not wreaked havoc with our computers. And the code, in my estimation, speaks the loudest. It was designed carefully, beautifully, and to be accessed simply, given the technology that exists in our world at this time—

  DR. XAVIER FABER: All of that could be said of a weapon. Like a Trojan horse.I

  DR. NEIL ROBERTS: I’m with Dr. Mikoyan on this.

  DR. XAVIER FABER: Big surprise there.

  DR. NEIL ROBERTS: If it truly were a weapon as Dr. Faber implies, I find it hard to believe they’d beam it out so randomly. If it were a weapon, it would be sent widely. They would want as many Earth-based radio telescopes as possible to pick it up, not just by a low-level academic in California. Don’t forget, from what we’ve been told, Dr. Mitchell stumbled upon the Pulse. She didn’t even know what she had at first. That doesn’t sound like a weapon to me.

  DR. SOLEDAD VENEGAS: I’m closer to Dr. Faber in my thinking. While I agree with Dr. Roberts that it is unusual that the Pulse was sent in this manner, looking at the code itself, I don’t see any evidence that it is meant to contain anything more than digits. If this code was a gift, it wasn’t coded properly or perhaps the code broke down over time. What none of my colleagues have mentioned is that this thing appears to be very old. Ancient, even.

  KANISHA PRESTON: Ancient? How so?

  DR. SOLEDAD VENEGAS: We can’t determine when it was actually sent. The data is too thin on where it originated and the speed at which it traveled. In many ways it seems to have simply appeared and then vanished as though it didn’t actually traverse space at all.

  KANISHA PRESTON: So it’s not from space?

  DR. XAVIER FABER: That’s not what we’re saying. It’s complicated, but we’ll get to that side of this in a little bit. Dr. Venegas was making a point that makes me look good, so let’s get back to it.

  DR. SOLEDAD VENEGAS: The code itself, the feel of the language, suggests it was written very, very early in our history. Like most anything, languages evolve over time: diversifying, getting more and more complicated, and, at the same time, becoming easier to navigate and use. If you trace all languages back, you’ll likely end up with the ur-language—the original tongue from which all the others derive. Now, it’s still very much speculation, but this proto-human language might consist of certain root words, sounds, that nearly all human languages have. Even though we’re at a very early stage, I see some similarity between the Pulse Code and this theoretical ur-language. The fact is the Pulse Code is designed for us to absorb it. It is designed for the human mind. I realize that sounds odd and I’m not quite getting at what I mean, but this is like art. It’s very hard to define what art is and even harder to always distinguish good from bad art. When we see something we like, something that touches the human condition, it’s appealing, even if it’s a splotch of paint on an otherwise empty frame or a bit of softly twisted driftwood. There’s an aesthetic. The code appeals to us.

  KANISHA PRESTON: Okay. Dr. Faber, you’re biting your tongue . . .

  DR. XAVIER FABER: Soledad’s spot-on. It appeals to us. This code wants us to accept it, to bring it in, to study it and copy it and see it. But I think that doesn’t even matter in the long run. The Pulse hit our planet for a reason. Maybe the radio telescopes picked it up—certainly Dr. Mitchell’s did—but that wasn’t the end goal. This thing is like solar radiation washing over the planet, washing over all of us. We’re looking at it as a code, using math to try and crack it, but—and this is going to sound a bit crazy—I don’t think that is what it was intended for originally.

  DR. NEIL ROBERTS: Here is where he goes off the rails entirely.

  DR. XAVIER FABER: I think the Pulse Code is a program.

  KANISHA PRESTON: Explain.

  DR. XAVIER FABER: It’s meant for us. Not to decode, not to puzzle over or send a return telegram. It’s designed for us physically. I think this thing is like a virus and we’ve all just been infected with it.

  * * *

  I. A Trojan horse, sometimes called simply a Trojan, is a kind of computer virus that is disguised by its creator as a piece of legitimate or innocuous software. By definition, a Trojan virus is always malicious.

  15

  FROM THE PERSONAL JOURNAL OF DAHLIA MITCHELL

  ENTRY #320—10.30.2023

  A little more than forty-eight hours after I’d found the Pulse, something changed.

  The migraine was one thing. Painful, strange, but it was short-lived and, despite my seeing waves of light, it made sense. I looked online and saw a huge uptick in the number of people reporting similar symptoms: migraine-like manifestations after I’d intercepted the signal. Scary. What the hell does it mean? I saw there were dozens and dozens of threads on multiple forums devoted entirely to people seeing radiating waves when they had migraines. Some were pretty sketchy, but in a weird way it gave me comfort.

  But that was before. That was early.

  How fast this stuff changes . . .

  Today I woke up and knew, just knew, there was more going on.

  Once, I heard a podcast about a man who’d felt a tumor in his brain three months before it was actually picked up on an MRI scan. Nuts, right? When he was asked how he knew there was something there, he said he’d felt a change. It wasn’t anything he could put his finger on, exactly. The way this man described it, there was an itching . . . a tickle just on the inside of his right ear. He tried to get at it with a Q-tip, which was a big mistake. He dug deep enough that he ruptured his eardrum. Ouch. Outside of the pain, which was intense, there was the fact that he had a nagging ringing in his ear for months after. The itching, the tickle—it didn’t go away.

  Two doctors later, he had the scan. They found the tumor. It was removed and he recovered successfully. When he wok
e after surgery, he knew right away that it had been successful. The itch was gone. The tickle vanished.

  The story was impressive but anecdotal, of course.

  All the best stories are.

  Maybe the tumor was resting on a nerve. I’m obviously not that kind of doctor, I don’t know. But what I understand is that this man felt something was off. Like in a very general way. And indeed it was. Just took the doctors a few extra months to find it.

  There’s something off in my head too.

  It’s not an itch. Or a tickle. There is a reverberation in my head. That’s really the one way I can properly describe it: a pulsating, the same way that the light emerged in waves when I had my migraines, but inside. It sounds insane. It sounds like there’s part of me that’s losing my grip, but I can actually feel it.

  Deep in. Growing there.

  When I was a kid, Dad brought Nico and me to a lake in Germany, a place where people would swim in the summers. It wasn’t very large, but when a slight breeze picked up, little waves would form on the water and splash so gently onto the shore. Nico and I would lay there, our legs in the water, our backs on the muddy sand. Arms over our faces, we’d let the little waves lull us to sleep. The way those waves felt, brushing against my skin, is the same sensation I’ve got right now in my head.

  It doesn’t make sense, but there’s no pain, there’s no discomfort. You know the way you can feel your heartbeat when you’re still? The way your whole body ticks with each pulse of the muscle? That’s the feeling. It’s natural. It’s strange but normal, in a way; a new normal—a changed situation.

  I’m writing this down at Nico’s house.

  Big brother won out this time.

  I drove over two hours ago for dinner. The boys were laughing and having a great time telling me about their science projects. I really wanted to listen, to be the good aunt who gives advice and helps guide them. I’ve always had this dream that when they’re grown-up and young twentysomethings trying to figure the world out, they’ll lean on me. They’ll call and we’ll go out to coffee when they are in town and I can be a shoulder for them. Work problems, romance issues, troubles with friends. I really want that to be my role for them, but . . . I couldn’t listen over dinner.